Am I In Survival Mode? How To Know And What To Do About It
Are you stuck in ‘survival mode’? Perhaps you are experiencing some of the following:
- A sense of ongoing stress
- Difficulty making decisions
- Poor short-term memory
- Difficulty relaxing
- Mood swings
- Trouble sleeping
- A sense of numbness or dissociation
- Lack of motivation
- Poor eating habits (e.g. overeating or forgetting to eat)
Survival mode is an informal term to describe when a person is affected by a prolonged stress response. It is actually an ancient, ingenious setting your body has to protect you from danger (fight/flight/freeze/fawn). But too much time spent in survival mode can create a host of unwanted effects, both physically and mentally. For example, survival mode can impact your heart rate and blood pressure, leading to a range of downstream problems. So how can you spot survival mode symptoms, and what can you do about it? Read on and we explain.
What happens when we are in survival mode? The science of survival mode
Survival mode is an informal term usually used to describe a state in which our nervous system is dysregulated – often because of prolonged stress. Usually when our sympathetic nervous system (that governs our body’s fight or flight response) and our parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS) that controls our ‘rest and digest’ response, are out of balance.
Both the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system are activated by signals from the brain (which of course itself responds to stimuli). In simple terms, you might think of the sympathetic nervous system as an accelerator pedal on a car, revving the engine so we’re ready to deal with an apparent threat (the heart beats faster, blood pressure increases and even our pupils dilate). Its counterweight, the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS) acts as a braking system, helping to downregulate after the stress has passed, getting us back into ‘rest and digest’ mode. If in response to prolonged stress, one or the other of these mechanisms is over-functioning for extended periods of time, we might call this ‘survival mode’.
Survival mode can appear differently in different people. In some people it looks more like anxiety, and in others, flatness and depression. For example, if you have anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system may be dominant – you feel hypervigilant, on high alert, in ‘fight or flight’. In those with constant low mood, lack of energy and flat affect, the parasympathetic nervous system may be over-functioning. Either way, the nervous system has become dysregulated in response to stress.
Dr Agnieszka Klimowicz, Consultant Psychiatrist at The London Psychiatry Centre says: “While our body’s clever stress response evolved to protect us from life-or-death threats such as an angry woolly mammoth, our busy modern lives today involve non life-threatening stressors that can still trigger our fight or flight response: such as deadlines, work emails, and even heavy traffic. Being in fight or flight affects not just the mind but the body – it raises blood pressure and heart rate for example. And long-term, a dysregulated nervous system (being in survival mode) is unhealthy for both the mind and the body.”
Science is increasingly getting to grips with how body and mind affect each other. For example research on the brain-gut connection is ongoing – e.g. the ways in which gut dysbiosis is implicated in depression. The crude separation of body/mind is outdated. Getting out of survival mode requires work that incorporates both.
Survival mode and trauma or prolonged stress
Survival mode may be likened to a computer system going into ‘safe mode’. Sometimes traumatic events (for example an accident, an assault, bereavement or abuse) may trigger our brains to boot into survival mode, to simply get us through the threat.
On the other hand, survival mode isn’t always triggered by obviously traumatic events. Constant lower level stress for extended periods of time (for example through overworking or isolation through the pandemic) in which we are continually operating in fight or flight, can trigger survival mode. You may simply have been juggling too much for too long without enough self-care. Often, busy people don’t know they are heading for burnout until one day they realise they just don’t feel like themselves anymore.
Survival mode symptoms
Are you in survival mode? Read this list of common survival mode symptoms and see if you can spot yourself somewhere in here. Are you:
- Forgetting to eat
- Worrying a lot
- Feeling exhausted
- Struggling to remember things (especially short-term)
- Feeling numb or wanting to just ‘numb out’
- Having trouble sleeping
- Experiencing racing, repetitive thoughts
- Overeating
- Finding yourself staring off into the distance a lot
- Breathing quickly and shallowly
- Feeling demotivated
- Experiencing a sense of overwhelm
- Feeling dizzy/lightheaded
- Noticing your heart racing
- Feeling a sense of urgency all the time
- Finding it difficult to plan or delegate (living in a constant 24 hours)
- Struggling to make decisions
- Suffering mood swings, or being told you are ‘moody’ at the moment
- Feeling detached and as if nothing really matters
Survival mode appears differently in different people. Some people may feel more ‘wired’ much of the time, others more ‘flat’, and still others will swing between both states. But if you tick off more than a few of these symptoms, there’s a high chance you’re in survival mode.
You may be asking: so how do I get out of mental health survival mode? While survival mode is a necessary evolutionary response that our clever bodies developed to help us deal with danger, living in it long-term is unhealthy for both the body and mind. If you’re stuck in survival mode, you’ll need tools to get out. Read on for ways to get out of survival mode.
How do I get out of survival mode?
There is no single way to get out of survival mode and different approaches may work for different people. However, you might try to:
1. Accept that you’re in survival mode – There is no solution without first acknowledging the problem. Take a moment to acknowledge that, whatever the cause, you’ve been ‘coping’ for too long. You deserve not merely to survive but to thrive. But first acknowledge how you’re feeling, without trying to put a brave face on it anymore. Here, putting pen to paper can really help. You might ask yourself: How am I really feeling? What am I struggling with? What do I wish was different?
2. Apply some self-compassion – If you’ve been in survival mode for a while, you’re probably out of practice when it comes to self-compassion, but practise it you must. Practising self-compassion looks like giving yourself a break, both literally and figuratively. It means asking yourself how you’d treat your best friend or your own child if they were feeling this way, and then applying that to yourself. Self-compassion means kinder self-talk. For instance: It’s okay to struggle. Everyone struggles sometimes. Yes, I can take a break. I deserve to look after myself.
3. Take care of you – If you’ve been in survival mode for some time, self-care may seem a million miles away. Or it might look like binge-drinking and bad food. But nurturing self-care looks like taking the time to do something each day that feeds your sense of physical and mental wellbeing. Trying meditation or yoga for instance. Getting out into a green space for a walk. Doing a cold plunge, having a sauna, or getting a facial. Eating more fruit and vegetables and less sugar. In other words, nourishing your body and mind.
4. Build in some structure – If you’ve been in survival mode for a while, you’re probably struggling to plan and delegate. You probably feel disorganised and harassed and as though you’re constantly chasing your tail. This is where building more structure into your days can really help to create a sense of order and calm, and crucially to relieve some of the decision fatigue that tends to come with survival mode. Understandably, this might be the last thing you feel able to do right now. That’s when enlisting the help of a coach (for example a life coach or work coach) or even just a really organised friend can help.
5. Aim for and acknowledge little wins – Aiming for realistic and achievable goals will help to build confidence and release an energising dopamine hit from the brain when we achieve them. What goal can you set for the week or the day, and how do you feel when you hit it? From getting the laundry done to finishing that email you’ve been putting off, hitting small goals can provide fuel to help you through this tough time.
6. Trim down the triggers – Make a list of things in your life that seem to be triggering stress and identify ways to counteract that stress or limit your exposure to it. For example: Is the news wearing you out and could you cut down your exposure to it for a while? Are you doomscrolling on social media and is it a good idea to take a break? Are you taking on more than your fair share at home or work and is it time to say no or ask for help?
7. Reach out to loved ones – It’s okay not to be okay. Sometimes you need to be heard and you need some extra support – whether it’s help around the house or with the kids, or just someone to listen while you vent. If you’re in survival mode, chances are you’ve had a brave face on for too long. So let you’re loved ones know you’re struggling – they likely want to help.
8. Talk to an expert – If you’ve been in survival mode, part of the problem is trying to cope on your own and do it all yourself – so insisting on recovering alone is like trying to fix the problem with more of the problem! Getting out of survival mode is a process and it takes time to coax your mind and body out of ‘essential functions only’. Good professionals properly trained know how to do this, and seeking support is a sign of courage. Here at The London Psychiatry Centre, we are experts in getting beyond survival mode – whether it be trauma, overwork, or simply forgetting to take care of you that got you there. Understanding the ways in which the brain and body interact is central to everything we do, putting us at the leading edge of mental health treatment. Our team of therapists, psychologists, nutritionists and even cardiologists work with mind and body to get clients back to their best self selves.
We can offer video or telephone consultations from anywhere in the UK, and take both GP referrals and self-referrals. You don’t have to suffer. To find out how we can help, get in touch today:
