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Who’s Caring For Carers: Looking After Your Mental Health As A Carer

Are you caring for a loved one with health problems? Struggling to look after your own mental health as a carer?

If you’re wondering how to avoid caregiver burnout, you’re not alone. Did you know that:

• The UK is home to around 5.8 million unpaid carers
• 1.7 million of those people are caring for more than 50 hours a week.

With an ageing population in the UK, these numbers will only grow. But behind most long-term patients, there’s a carer struggling to avoid burnout. No matter how much you love them, caring takes a toll – mentally and physically. So what can you do to look after your mental health as a carer? Read on.

Why is it important to look after your own needs as a carer?

Carers carry invisible burdens. As a carer you deal with so many extra demands on your time, energy, and resources – all while juggling the other responsibilities you have already.

Caring costs time, energy and money. In addition, there’s enormous emotional labour in caring for a loved one. It can be really isolating, and it hurts you to see them hurting.

But your focus is on them, and you want to put on a brave face. Carers frequently cry quietly in the bathroom before drying their eyes and setting a smile on their face to deal with what’s next. The pent-up sadness, fear and frustration gets to even the most resilient person.

To top it off, you may even feel guilty for struggling with the stress of it all, as if you shouldn’t have needs. And being told to ‘do some self-care’ probably just feels like one more task on your insanely long to-do list.

I don’t have time for time for myself!

It’s overwhelming. We know. But here’s the thing:

• Lack of self-care takes a toll on physical health: In recent research published by Carers UK, 42% of carers said that their physical health has declined as a result of caring, and 30% reported that their physical health was ‘bad or very bad’.
• Lack of self-care puts a strain on mental health: In the same survey, 74% of carers reported feeling stressed or anxious. 40% said they felt depressed, and 35% said that their mental health was bad or very bad.

Julia Abolina, Psychotherapist at The London Psychiatry Centre says: “I wish people would ask carers more often, ‘And you – how are you? How are you coping?’ Because caring for someone isn’t just emotionally and physically demanding – it can rob a person of a chance to live their own life.

“Long-term, you can’t look after others if you’re not looking after yourself.”

Am I depressed? Symptoms of caregiver depression

Symptoms of caregiver depression include:

• A sense of hopelessness
• Being unable to find pleasure in the things you normally enjoy
• Sleep problems
• Feeling physically exhausted
• Lack of concentration
• Being irritable and easily agitated
• Loss of appetite or the reverse – overeating
• Thinking about suicide, or having more thoughts of death
• Feeling flat and emotionless
• Feeling worthless
• Feeling guilty

Depression, anxiety, and caregiver burnout are all common among unpaid caregivers. Read on for tips on how to take care of your mental health as a carer.

8 tips for supporting yourself while caring for someone

Unsure of how to take care of your mental health as a carer? Try to:

1. Ask for help – Is there anyone in your network that could be helping more? Is there a sibling that could chip in? Or could your partner pick up more slack at home? Create a list of all the tasks you do in a week. Do you always have to be the one to do them all?

2. Talk to someone – Whether to a friend, family member, someone from a carers helpline, or a private mental health specialist, talking helps.

3. Journal – Journalling can be a great way to vent your feelings and clarify your thoughts. Talking to others is awesome, but at times we may feel unable to vocalise what we feel or worry that others won’t understand. The blank page is a completely nonjudgmental listener.

4. Ask for a hug – Whether from a spouse, a friend, or even a pet, hugging triggers the release of oxytocin, a calming, feel-good chemical that can help lower stress levels.

5. Allow yourself some joy – What makes you smile? Is it drawing? Listening to music? Watching cute dog videos on YouTube? If only for a few hours, minutes, or even seconds at a time, connecting with something you enjoy does wonders for resilience.

6. Try to ask for what you need – Do you want to talk about what you’re feeling? Or just have a laugh and experience some distraction? It can be helpful to communicate those things to friends directly. People often want to help but don’t know how.

7. Protect your sleep – This can be incredibly tricky as a carer because you’re so used to being ‘on’ and available to others. But practising good sleep hygiene is key to looking after your mental health as a carer. So try: Staying off screens for at least an hour before bed, listening to some white noise or a sleep meditation on YouTube. And look to keep a regular bedtime and wake time – it really helps your body get into a rhythm.

8. Exercise – One of the best antidepressants known to man but without side effects, exercise makes all the difference. We know you’re snowed under so if a gym membership looks like time you don’t have, try to stack in exercise around your daily tasks. For example, find some exercise classes on YouTube you can do from home, or walk to an appointment rather than drive.

If you think you need more support

Carers are heroes. But it’s not heroic to abandon your own mental health as a carer. If you think you need more support, here’s what to do:

Contact your local carers organisation – They can help you access support where you live. From carer support groups, to information on respite care and help putting together an adult carer support plan, your local carer organisation is a great place to start. Find them at https://carers.org/help-for-carers/find-carer-services-near-you

Consider respite care – Respite care gives you the chance to have a breather while the person you look after is cared for by someone else. Many carers find it a lifesaver. Contact your local carers organisation to learn what your respite care options are.

If you’re feeling anxious or depressed: Many people start by talking to their GP. They can help you access local mental health services in your area. However, there is usually a waiting list. If you need support for anxiety or depression but don’t want to wait, you might prefer to consider private mental health care.

Here at The London Psychiatry Centre, we are home to some of the UK’s most experienced psychologists and counsellors. We have pioneered leading-edge mental health treatments in the UK, and we are experts in treating anxiety and depression.

To find out how we can help, call +44 20 7580 4224 or email info@psychiatrycentre.co.uk