8 Things To Do If You Think Your Child Is Being Bullied
Bullying is a phenomenon that we have yet to find an effective solution for in the UK, yet it impacts thousands of children, sometimes with a lasting effect. Unfortunately, the numbers tell a stark story: in the UK, 40% of young people experience bullying each year, and 6% face it daily.
To add to this, a 2023 survey of children and young people’s mental health found that 20% of children aged 8 to 16 had a probable mental disorder in 2023. Though bullying is not the sole cause of poor mental health amongst children, it is a significant factor: being repeatedly targeted can trigger or worsen issues such as anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
It’s important to remember that not all bullying is physical – name-calling and exclusion remain the most common forms experienced both offline and online. Cyberbullying adds another layer: around 22% of teens reported being bullied in the past year, with over half having harmful online experiences. This dual threat – real world and digital – can leave children feeling unsafe in spaces we hope would protect them. For parents, learning to trust that your child is okay at school or online can feel like an uphill battle.
Lucille Balcombe, Registered Mental Health Nurse & Registered CBT Therapist at The London Psychiatry Centre, reminds parents that it’s often the small changes in behaviour – a sudden loss of enthusiasm, poorer sleep, mood dips or withdrawn habits – that can be early signs of bullying. “If you notice these shifts, don’t wait. Reach out for support,” she advises.
Feeling alarmed or worried is natural, and you’re not alone. Knowing the facts, staying observant and trusting your parental instincts are the first steps toward keeping your child and emotionally supported. Here are some signs to look out for and things you can do if you think your child is being bullied.
The subtle signs of bullying when your child won’t tell you
Not every child will tell their parents if they are being bullied. In fact, many try to hide it out of fear, shame or not wanting to worry their family. That’s why it’s important for parents to be aware of the less obvious signs that something may be wrong.
Some of the key changes to look out for include:
- Unexplained physical symptoms such as frequent stomach aches, headaches or feeling unwell without a clear medical cause.
- Difficulty sleeping, including nightmares, reluctance to go to bed, or waking frequently during the night.
- Changes in mood, such as increased irritability, sadness, tearfulness or a sudden withdrawal from family activities.
- Loss of confidence. A once confident child may become quieter, avoid eye contact or appear unusually self-critical.
- Changes in eating habits, including skipping meals, comfort eating or a noticeable loss of appetite.
- School avoidance, such as a reluctance to attend, sudden drops in performance or a lack of interest in favourite subjects.
- Damaged or missing belongings, like torn clothing or lost possessions which indicate that they have been vandalised or stolen by a bully. The child may also request money to replace belongings.
- Changes in friendships, including withdrawing from usual social groups, reluctance to talk about friends, or spending more time alone.
Every child is different, and some of these habits may occur in isolation for a short time without any incidence of bullying. However, if a child is exhibiting these behaviours for a prolonged time, or if several of these behaviours occur together, it may indicate that they are dealing with more than just a “bad day”. Paying attention to these subtle shifts and opening up gentle, supportive conversations can make it easier for your child to share what’s happening.
What to do if you think your child is being bullied
If you think your child may be experiencing bullying, there are practical steps you can take to support and protect them:
1. Create a safe space for conversation
Let your child know you are there to listen without judgement. Gentle, open-ended questions can encourage them to talk about their experiences. For example, instead of saying “Are you being bullied?”, try “How are things going at school?” or “Who do you usually spend time with at break time?” This gives your child space to share at their own pace. If they are reluctant to share, resist forcing them to; instead, let them know that you will be available to listen when they are ready.
2. Offer reassurance
Remind your child that bullying is never their fault, and that you will work together to find a solution.
3. Keep records
Note down incidents your child shares with you, including dates, times and any physical or emotional effects. This can be useful when raising concerns with the school.
4. Contact the school
Arrange a meeting with teachers or pastoral staff to discuss your concerns. Schools are required to have anti-bullying policies and should work with you to ensure your child feels safe.
5. Support healthy coping strategies
Encourage activities that build confidence and resilience, such as sports, hobbies or spending time with trusted friends.
6. Limit exposure to online bullying
If cyberbullying is a concern, help your child by adjusting privacy settings, blocking harmful accounts and reporting abusive content. In addition, talk them through what to do if they come across any online content, or messages from other internet users, that makes them feel uncomfortable.
7. Speak to a child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) specialist
If bullying is affecting your child’s mood, confidence or daily life, professional support can make a significant difference. Specialists can help children manage the emotional impact and give parents strategies for supporting them.
8. Look after your own wellbeing
Dealing with bullying can be distressing for parents, too. Seeking advice and support for yourself can help you stay strong for your child.
How to talk to your child about it without making it worse
Starting a conversation about bullying can feel delicate. Children may worry about being blamed, not being believed, or that speaking up will only make things worse. The key is to approach the subject calmly and gently, creating an environment where they feel sage to open up.
Choose the right moment
Avoid bringing it up when your child is tired, distracted or upset. A quiet moment, such as during a walk or at bedtime, can encourage them to talk more freely.
Listen more than you speak
Give them time to explain in their own words, without interrupting or jumping in with solutions. Validate their feelings by letting them know that what they are experiencing matters and that it’s right to tell you about it.
Stay calm
Even if you feel upset, try not to show anger or shock. Strong reactions might make your child shut down for fear of upsetting you further.
By showing patience and understanding, you can help your child feel heard and supported, which is the most important first step in addressing the problem.
Healing and the path to recovery
Recovering from the impact of bullying takes time, and every child’s journey will look different. What matters most is that they feel supported, understood and safe. Healing is not just about stopping the bullying itself, but also about rebuilding confidence, self-esteem and trust.
Encouraging your child to talk openly – whether with you, a trusted teacher or a mental health professional – can help them process what has happened. They may benefit from positive outlets such as sports, creative hobbies or spending time with friends who uplift them. These activities can restore a sense of normality and remind them of their strengths.
It’s also important for parents to recognise that bullying can have longer-lasting emotional effects. Some children experience anxiety, low mood or withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed. Professional support, such as speaking with a CAMHS specialist, can make a significant difference in helping them develop coping strategies and feel more resilient.
With time, care and the right support, children can regain their confidence and move forward, knowing that what they went through does not define them.
To speak to a friendly expert in our CAMHS team, without needing to join a waiting list, call 020 7580 4224 or book online.
